COUNTDOWN!!!!!!!

9 MORE DAYS!!!!!!  Excited, nervous, ready.  Obsessively checking the nps.gov site for the Canyon for weather updates and last minute postings.  Last weeks possibility of a government shutdown almost killed my plans altogether, but THANK GOD they pulled their crap together!

A week ago I was second guessing my shoes again.  I had a particularly bad experience with some rock bruising on a really technical trail run and came home nearly in tears, panicked that I had only two weeks to get new shoes.  I spent five days freaking out, going back and forth between two local shops where I literally tried on every single shoe they carried.  Most places don't allow you to purchase and shoe and test it out on any sort of decent run, much less a dusty trail.  But both shops allowed me to test their shoes and promised I could return them if they didn't work out.  AWESOME.  So I tried both the Inov8 Terrocs and an old friend---the Adidas Response Trail, which was my favorite shoe back in the 90's.  And both delivered a MISERABLE experience.  The Inov8's caused the toes in my left foot to go numb within a few miles.  I felt clumsy and actually had to go slower on the downhills because I kept tripping.  The Adidas' were NOT the shoe I once loved so much and in fact, if it's possible, I actually had a worse experience with these shoes.  Numbness in BOTH sets of toes and then lots of ankle rolling and toes sliding to the front of my shoe on the downhills.  Ughh.   Back at the running shop, I made one last plea for any solution to my problem and then....there it was....SOCKS.  Yep, simply changing my socks from ultra thin, to a little thicker allowed me to wear both my NB 101's and the Minimus in a totally different way.  I guess that just goes to show---I should have trusted my original plan.

Aaaaaahhhhhh.....feeling SO relieved.

Now that THAT's solved, I'm just gathering last minute supplies and finalizing my fuel/hydration strategy for the run.

MY SUPPLY LIST:
*Ultimate Direction Wink Hydration Pack with 96 oz bladder
*1 extra 24 oz water bottle
*moeben sleeves
*longsleeve tech shirt
*singlet
*running shorts
*extra socks
*Black Diamond Spot headlamp +extra set of batteries
*map
*Hammer endurolyte capsules
*Perpetuem solids
*Heed powder
*12-15 gels
*beef jerkey
*Pb&J
*sunscreen
*water treatment tablets
*first aid kit
*pocketknife
*bandana
*hat
*sunglasses
*camera

MY FUEL/HYDRATION STRATEGY:
*3 endurolytes capsules every hour
*1 gel/2 perpetuem solids every hour
*solid food as needed
*Heed as needed

I won't consume all 96 oz of my hydration pack bladder on the first downhill (South Kaibab down to Phantom Ranch), but will definitely top off and use all up the North Kaibab.  I'll refill again at Cottonwood campground or Roaring Springs and then again at the top of the North rim.  Refill again back down at Phantom Ranch and then again at Indian Gardens.  I'm not taking the hydration issue lightly.  Weather next Sat promises to be hot at the bottom of the Canyon.  And I know my biggest struggle will be the very last 9 miles up the Bright Angel at the hottest time of the day.

I've had a LOT of advice from fellow ultra/trail runners who have done this run.  Everything from proper etiquette in passing mule trains on the trail to avoiding the "amazing" lemonade at Phantom Ranch.  Great advice from great runners, for sure.  Still, I know that this is MY run and though I can prepare as much as humanly possible, anything can happen.  And I have to be okay with the possibility that things may not go as planned.  What I need to do is pay attention to ME.  Pay attention to my body and how it's experiencing the terrain, the elevation loss and gain and extreme temperature changes.  Because after all this time, all this training, I'd better know what works and what doesn't for ME.  

Run report to follow my adventures in the Grand Canyon!!!!!!

Life Without The "Juice"

So, in an effort to maximize every possible advantage in my quest to be as healthy as possible for my Grand Canyon run, I decided, what the heck, I'll give up coffee and all "treats" ("Treats", as defined by my 6 yr old nephew, is basically all unhealthy desserts. Cake, cookies, ice cream, etc.  My nephew has given up "treats" for lent and I've got to hand it to him because it's got to be hard to go to a birthday party and say NO to cake!).  I'm not a big "treat" eater, and don't even really like cake and ice cream.  But I do like Eegees, a local frozen fruit slushy delight that boasts lots of vitamin C, but unfortunately, a lot of added sugar too.  This month's Eegees "flavor of the month" is Orange Dream and not one of my favorites, so fortunately, I'm not horribly jonesing.  

But COFFEE...oh, coffee!  I LOVE coffee.  I love the taste, I love the ritual of it and apparently, to my surprise, I've recently learned that my body loved it a LOT.  I honestly didn't think I drank that much coffee.  Yes, I drank it every morning, but only 2-3 cups and most of the time, I was too busy to get through a full mug anyway.  Nevermind that my "mug" holds 3 cups.   But HOLY COW!  I had some serious withdrawals the first few days.  Headaches that started around lunchtime and stayed with me until bedtime.  I don't think I was that irritable, but I'll bet those around me would say otherwise.    I've heard about these awful headaches, but in my mind, those withdrawal symptoms were for true caffeine junkies.  Not me.  Right.  I couldn't stand myself that first week.  I don't know if I was more upset that I couldn't drink coffee or that I was THAT dependent on caffeine.  It's pretty amazing how caffeine, especially in large doses, can effect the body.

I wouldn't really know how much it HAD effected my body unless I had quit the stuff.  And now, over two weeks later, I see some pretty incredible changes that just proved my dependency was truly producing negative side effects.  

Here's a list of the positive side effects I'm currently experiencing now that I'm off the "juice":

*I wake up and feel REALLY awake.  I don't feel like I need coffee to wake myself up.  I also feel like I'm sleeping better.  I used to think I needed 8-9 hours of sleep.  But I'm currently getting 7-8 and feeling great!

*I feel less irritable about trivial things.  This is hard to explain, but I guess I would describe the feeling as "calm" and "even" about things.  Stuff that would normally piss me off is rolling off easily.  I like that.

*When I take off on a morning training run, my body moves quickly, efficiently and no longer do I feel like it's going to take a good half mile to wake up my legs.

*The first thing I feed my body in the morning isn't caffeine.  It's water and good food or nutrients I need to sustain myself for a successful day.   My body is thanking me by rewarding me with a more balanced system both physically and mentally.

Okay, so for ME, this is turning out to be a positive situation and the benefits of not drinking coffee at this point definitely outweigh the negative side effects.  For ME.  I'm not advocating that everyone needs to swear off coffee or even caffeine.  In fact, there are many thought-provoking studies that have found a certain amount of caffeine to be good for the body.    My partner asked me the other day whether or not I would be relieved, after the G.C. run to start drinking coffee again.   Honestly, I'm kind of thinking I'm going to keep going with this.  Over fifteen years ago, my brother and I decided to give up all soda and to this day, I don't think either of us has had even a taste of it.  I quickly forgot it meant anything to me and don't feel I'm missing out on anything special.  Maybe coffee will be the same.  After all, there's decaffeinated coffee and tea to help with the missing taste and ritual, right?

What I WILL be looking forward to, after this run, is an Eegees...(and maybe some birthday cake.)

This Is For All The Type A, Ridiculously Competitive Personalities Out There...

Give yourself a BREAK!
At 1:00am this morning, I was wide awake.  My throat hurt, my body ached, and in five short hours, I was supposed to be on a  3 1/2 hour trail run.  For the next two hours, I went back and forth, in and out of sleep, worried and negotiating with myself.  The conversation went something like this:
"Your G.C. run is exactly one month from today.  You need all the time you can get on the trails."
"Yeah, but I feel like CRAP!"
"Stop whining!  Suck it up!  Get through the run and then take some extra vitamin C and a nap!"
"What if it gets worse?"
"Get over it.  You can't take time off.  Take time off on April 24th."

I am really ridiculous sometimes.
The truth is... when I set my sights on something,  I often put an "all or nothing" attitude into reaching my goals, and as a result, can become a structured, painfully inflexible, rigid, irrational self-masochist with tunnel vision.  I yell at myself regularly.  Whining is not an option.  Giving up is not an option.

And here's an interesting thought...  For all those who have the "other" conversation in their heads, the one that results in immobility and the excuse to NOT push themselves to take that first step and start that thing they're passionate about---it's really not so different, is it?  Same self-destructive result. Hmmmm.

Lesson learned--over and over and over again.  When all the guts and commitment and work and determination throw off the balance of life, health and future, it's time to take a good hard look.  And it's not a pretty picture.  All the signs will eventually be pointing to a picture of a very disappointed gutsy girl who will NOT be able to run her goal of a R2R2R in the Grand Canyon in April.  All because she's not willing to back down when it's most important.  The reality is, one day off---even three days off will not hurt my training like my irrational side believes.   And in fact, as I possibly teeter on the border of overtraining, my body is most likely craving a break.

So, my rational, level-headed, intelligent side won today.  I took a day off.  I soaked in an bath of epsom salt, did some studying I've been neglecting, and ate and hydrated well.  And tonight?  My body is thanking me.  My irrational, competitive monster side is sulking in a corner somewhere.  Good riddance.

Motivation

As I get closer and closer to my Grand Canyon run (April 23!) , several things of note have taken place recently:

*My training runs have gotten longer and longer, which means, I've had to rearrange my day a LOT to accommodate for time on the trails.  This also means that I have relatively NO social life right now.  My day consists of:  running, studying, working, eating, and sleeping.   It's a little sad saying "no"  to raging weekends, but at the same time, eh...

*I am constantly hungry.  And I am CRANKY when I'm hungry.  So, when I'm hungry, I really am serious...I NEED food NOW, or else...!

                                                  

*I desperately need a good night's sleep, EVERY night.  Not that I need MORE sleep.  I've always needed 8-9 hrs anyway.  It's just that now I can't recover from a late night AND get a good run in the morning.  (Sadly, this means that I won't be celebrating St. Patrick's Day the way I did LAST year.)            

*I take recovery EXTREMELY seriously.  My training runs need to be high quality right now, so the way I treated my body last month, by skipping flexibility work and doubling up on strength work, is a definite no-no.   What I do for my body AFTER training is JUST as crucial as how I treat it DURING.  This new regimen has consisted of:  Recoverite (by Hammer Nutrition) immediately after a run to replenish and repair,  a really lengthy session of flexibility work that involves some static AND active flexibility training, 3 days a week of epsom salt soaks to release toxins and alleviate muscle soreness, and when I'm lucky, a good 'ol massage!  I'd like to add some yoga in this mix, but good lord...when?????

*I talk to myself... A LOT, when I'm training.  I don't have the perfect run every day and in fact, at least once a week, I need to really dig down deep and motivate myself with positive self-talk and a little reminder of WHY I'm doing this.  Sometimes I really like the hard times, because when it's easy...it's almost too easy.  It's autopilot and I don't think I appreciate what I'm doing when it's easy.  When it's HARD, however, it's a pretty cool lesson in NOT taking my abilities for granted.  I've learned, during these hard days, that I CAN push through.  I already know that for every difficult mile, there will be two that are awesome.  I also know that the feeling I get AFTER I'm done is incomparable to anything else in my life...that feeling of accomplishment.  Of the pride in knowing I'm freakin' TOUGH enough to conquer these crazy mountain trails and take myself to places most people only see in photographs!  THAT is enough to motivate me in tough times.  I LOVE this ability and I am so incredibly GRATEFUL to have it!

The Big, Bad, Barefoot Debate...(and why it's not a debate anymore)

I have spent the majority of my life barefoot. I have never been much of a shoe person, even as a little kid, when one frigid winter in Ohio, I decided, without my

parents knowing, that I would go outside and play in the snow in my socks! It was an awesome feeling, much like how sand feels on bare feet, only... well, you can imagine what followed. I wore shoes to school, church, and in public buildings, but I didn't like it. Fortunately, my sport of choice, gymnastics, involved bare feet. And then, I had the very good fortune to get a job coaching the sport in my early teens, transitioning from barefoot training, to barefoot coaching. And for the next twenty years, my full-time job has allowed me this wonderful opportunity to never wear shoes!

As a result, I have developed very tough feet. I can walk across rocks easily, and when I step on glass or thorns or even a rusty nail (which has happened a couple of times now) I barely feel it--the bottoms of my feet having built up a pretty awesome, thick skin.

How STRONG my feet have been has been another story. When I stopped training as a gymnast, I started my long-lived training as an endurance athlete and suddenly it became very important to find the perfect, supportive, cushioned running shoes for my very flat, arch-less feet. I went through countless pairs of highly supportive shoes, where in the store, I was told I had "severe pronation problems" and needed the ultimate, maximum support. This involved very expensive, very rigid, thick, heavy shoes that the salespeople claimed would keep my arches from falling and basically hold my foot hostage in a cast-like way. I, myself, even had a brief stint working in a local running store near my college campus where I was trained to say the very same things to our customers. So...it MUST be true, right? My feet were screwed up, so I needed maximum support in order to run efficiently so I wouldn't get injured.

WRONG! For years and years, I had tibial stress fractures, shin splits, plantar fasciitis and loads and loads of pain in my feet and legs. It didn't occur to me that my problems stemmed from my SHOES and not my supposed "horrible, screwed-up feet".

In 2004, after one too many injuries, I started cross training at my own gym. A few of my fellow coaches and I put together a workout regimen that involved a lot of jump roping, stair sprints, plyometric jumping, pullups, pushups, swinging, handstands, active flexibility and a lot of the other conditioning we put our gymnasts through on a daily basis. And we did it all...barefoot. I still ran regularly, but mostly on trails, and after a while, I noticed that the barefoot training I did in the gym was strengthening my feet and legs and knees in such an efficient way that when I was running, I didn't experience much of the pain I had previously. Hmmmmm....

This transitioned to running barefoot in the park, which I did regularly at least twice a week in addition to my barefoot training in the gym and trail running.

And then my dad told me to read Born To Run by Christopher McDougall,

who basically wrote the book back in 2009, because he too loved running but couldn't understand why he was injured all the time and wanted to know WHY! The book isn't totally about the over-correction of feet or the fact that there is absolutely NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER that running shoes do anything to improve or maintain running efficiency or prevent injury. And yet, running shoes are a multibillion dollar industry, despite the fact that current research indicates that runners wearing shoes are actually bearing far more impact than runners in bare feet or minimalist shoes. There are groups of people all over the world, such as the Tarahumara indians of Mexico's Copper Canyon (the group McDougall talks about in his book) who run without shoes and have been doing it, like our ancestors, for centuries. These runners have a higher range of motion in their feet, engage more of their toes and foot muscles, and experience more efficiency in their running. They are faster and able to run longer. The thing is, McDougall argues, ...we already know how to run like this, with proper biomechanics and injury-free efficiency, because we were BORN like this. It was the moment the notion was born that our feet are flawed and need corrective devices that our feet were ruined. No wonder so many people hate running!

When Vibram Five Fingers came out, I immediately bought a pair. Basically a glove on my feet, with virtually no sole, I transitioned slowly--wore them first on grassy, park runs and then on short trail runs until I could eventually run for a couple of hours at a time. It wasn't a very difficult transition, mostly, I think, because my feet were already accustomed to jumping, running, and moving according to this barefoot concept. Other people that began to transition into Vibrams and barefoot training were experiencing a significant amount of midsole and forefoot soreness and tightening in their achilles and soleus--a lot of this due to the natural transition from typical heel striking (very bad!)in shoes to running from the middle of the foot to the toes (natural) in Vibrams or barefoot. What I DID deal with was "stone bruising" on the ball of my feet.

Most of the trails I run are pretty rugged and rocky (see left. One of my favorite trails, Douglas Springs), and I suppose it was inevitable that I'd feel the impact of what was underfoot, especially as I was bounding downhill. Still, I got used to it and eventually, in less than a year, I had transitioned completely into my Vibrams for all of my trail running, with three days a week still devoted to barefoot runs on grass and soft trail and gym workouts. (I should also mention again, that this training has most recently saved me from having extensive surgery on my achilles. My orthopedic team, which included a podiatrist, all said the same thing---barefoot training had strengthened and PREVENTED my lower legs from more severe injury to my achilles.) Now some of you might say, "But your feet must be all torn up!" As you can tell from the photo above, my feet are holding up very well! In fact, some might even say they're "pretty". Ha Ha! I still have tough skin on the bottom of my feet, some might call it "calloused", but it doesn't peel and I don't get blisters. My heels are rarely cracked or painful. I don't have smooth, "baby" skin, but my feet aren't rough or scratchy to the touch. I paint my toenails and use a pumice stone and moisturizers regularly. I take care of my feet. Everyone should.

Today, a mere two years later, the barefoot and "minimalist" debate has become much less of a debate and more of a popular hype within the fitness community and beyond. Vibrams aren't as much of a weird fashion statement as a normal piece of footwear now, in much the same way that Birkenstocks and Tevas grew in popularity in the late 1980's. Active and inactive people alike are sporting some version of FiveFingers. And Vibram has, in the last two years, developed so many sport-specific models that the company is literally overloaded with back orders, especially with their most popular models.

At this point, I am in the midst of a big review of minimalist footwear...

I am about to encounter my first R2R2R (rim to rim to rim) run in the Grand Canyon in less than two months. This will entail 48 miles of extreme elevation loss and gain on pretty rocky terrain. In my original Vibram KSO's, I have run up to 25+miles on very rocky terrain, but I'm slightly skeptical about running a constant DOWNHILL in the Canyon for 11 miles without experiencing a significant amount of stone bruising.

One day, about a month ago, I decided to pull out my old Asics trail shoes and see how they held up on a rocky downhill run. BAD idea. I immediately regretted the decision once I felt my feet rolling around, unsteady in the shoes. My knees started hurting, I rolled my ankles three or four times, I fell twice, and then decided I had come too far in developing proper running efficiency over the last few years that I couldn't possibly go back to heavy trail shoes.

Next up, I bought a pair of New Balance MT 101's, (see left) NB's answer to minimalist footwear. They're light, a little over 7 oz, low to the ground--an outsole a little over 2mm thick, flexible, and fits like a glove. The upper is primarily lightweight mesh--no lateral support whatsoever. Perfect. I tried them out on a rocky, 11 mile trail that had significant, steep, climbs. They certainly protected the bottom of my feet better from stone bruising, and I liked how lightweight and breathable they felt. I climbed uphill easily and quickly. What I didn't like was how my foot seemed to slip around in the shoes during the steep downhill portion of my run and the way I was experiencing some instability bounding on rocks. My ankles rolled a few times.

Then, my beloved KSO's came out with another version--the Vibram KSO Treks! (See below) Deemed the Vibrams for "trailrunning", the Treks weigh in at just under 6 oz., provide the

same lightweight features as the original KSO, but offer a slightly tougher outsole that protects from stone bruising and offers improved traction of trails and more rugged terrain. When testing the Trek's, I found that they gave me significantly more sole protection and allowed me to barrel down the mountain with more confidence without rolling my ankles in a "shoe". I still experienced a little stone bruising, but only on extremely technical, rocky downhill portions of the trail.

My Vibram Five Finger KSO Treks on left. Compared to my original KSOs on the right.

All in all, I think the KSO Trek has made for my best training runs lately, though I'm continuing to switch to the NB 101's every so often. The decision on what exactly I'll be wearing on my R2R2R in April has still not been confirmed, but at least I have a better idea of what DOESN'T work, right?

For more on barefoot running and minimalist footwear, check out this video:

Grand Canyon or Bust!

Well, it's official. I'm either totally ready for this, or completely BONKERS! ( I'm going to go with the latter.) Even went and booked my hotel room. Non-refundable, by the way. There's no backing out now...A R2R2R in the Grand Canyon on April 23rd...can't think of a better way to celebrate my 37th (did I say that outloud?) birthday.

A R2R2R in the Grand Canyon, in the ultrarunning world, is basically, a 41-48 mile run (depending on which trail you take) from either the south rim or north rim of the Grand Canyon DOWN to the bottom of the Canyon UP to the other rim back DOWN to the bottom and back UP to the south or north rim. Elevation gain of over 11, 000 feet total. Temperature range (in April) of 20-40 degrees F at the south rim to 90 degrees at the bottom to below 20, with the possibility of snow, at the north rim. I'll be taking the Bright Angel Trail starting at 6800 feet, descend 2400 feet, cross the bridge over the Colorado River, climb 8240 feet on the North Kaibab Trail up to the north rim and reverse it all for my return. My total R2R2R route will cover a little over 47 miles. Time? I'm shooting for a goal of under 16 hours. This means that in order to return before dark, I'll need to start my run before 3am.

Twenty-three years ago, in 1988, my dad ran a R2R2R when he turned 40. The entire family went to cheer him on. I remember waiting, along with my mom and three younger brothers at the top of the south rim for my dad to finish. I saw a sign at the top of the trailhead, warning hikers of the danger of attempting to hike from rim to the bottom of the canyon and back in one day and chuckled at the thought of my dad defying all the odds and RUNNING double that amount in one day. I watched as hikers and backpackers emerged from the trail, tired, spent but so obviously triumphant and proud of their accomplishment. Many of them asked my mom to take their picture. A couple times, she asked if any of the hikers had seen my dad. "He's running it", she'd say. "and we were expecting him by now". And the hikers eyes would grow wide in amazement. "Running the canyon? Are you kidding?"

Back then, in 1988, running the canyon was an uncommon feat only attempted by small handfuls of an equally small ultrarunning community. Ultrarunning and trailrunning wasn't as mainstream as the marathon or triathlon at that point. "Ultrarunning", those distances covering more than 26.2 miles, in particular, were considered extreme and well...crazy. Running the GRAND CANYON? Well, that was just plain old RIDICULOUS! And MY dad was doing it! Did I think he was crazy? You bet. I wanted to be JUST like him.

In 1988, there wasn't GU or S-Caps or Clif Shots. My dad had to rely on water, gatorade, and whatever whole foods he could fit in his small waist pack with two 20 oz. water bottles. Yep...no hydration packs either. Today, in 2011, there are entire websites and blogs and how-tos on the subject of running the Canyon. No one knows how many ultrarunners run the canyon every year, mostly because the Park doesn't sanction these runs , but you can bet the number has quadrupled since the 1980's. The National Park Service still strongly discourages rim-to-rim hikes or even day hikes from rim to river and back and rescues are frequent. Still, today, more and more R2R2R's are attempted and even a "Double Crossing" (R2R2R2R2R) isn't such a strange feat anymore. Today we have hundreds of gels, goos, electrolyte tablets, drinks, hydration packs, headlamps, apparel, etc to get us through an ultrarun. The plethora of options is downright overwhelming! Makes me think: Did my dad and all those crazy ultrarunners back then have it RIGHT? The minimalist in me thinks I could find success in a R2R2R with the mere basics. However, the first thing my father said to me when I told him I was embarking on my own R2R2R, was "Of course, today, I'd do it differently". Yeah...there's something to be said for hydration packs and electrolyte tablets and lightweight, easily digested food.

So, as I train up in the mountains near Tucson and southeast AZ for the next two and a half crucial months, I'm also putting together my list of R2R2R essentials. My biggest concern? Whether or not I'll do the entire run in my Vibram Five Fingers. I've spent the last two years

transitioning completely to either barefoot or Five Finger running. I can run pretty rocky terrain in the Vibrams and now for a few hours straight. The barefoot and Vibram training has benefited me in some life-altering ways and in fact, is the reason, my orthopedic said, that I avoided reconstructive surgery on my achilles this past summer. My feet and ankles and legs are so strong now, that I worry if I go back to shoes, I'll actually create damage by supporting my feet in a way that will hinder my strength in the mountains. But I've never done a 16 hour run in my Vibrams. Can I handle THAT much time, on THAT much elevation change, on THAT terrain in the Grand Canyon?

Hmmmmm....For more on barefoot and Vibram training, stay tuned!

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation (or What I've Learned In 30 Days)

I love vacation. I mean, who doesn't? But I love it because at the end of the year, I am 100% completely SPENT. For a typically calm, casual, laid back person that I am, at the end of the year, I become what I can only describe as a MONSTER. I am a wound up ball of stress, anxiety and usually, as a result of my monstrous transformation, I am sick. Without getting into the details of what leads to this transformation, mostly because it's all work related and boring to most people, I will tell you that this happens EVERY YEAR to me. Usually occurs right after Thanksgiving, which, by the way, is my favorite holiday and one that I enjoy and celebrate with all my might. Maybe I celebrate so hard because I'm anticipating the horror that's to come. I don't know. But, like clockwork, I'll wake up the Monday after Thanksgiving, usually at some god-awful early hour in a panic, sweating, and grinding my teeth. This is followed by a lovely visit by the flu fairy who sticks around so long, I have no choice but to bear down and go about my business as usual. And this usually means going into work with a temperature of 103, attending meetings where I get daggers thrown at me when I start coughing like I've got tuberculosis, and attempting to work out without passing out. Fun. The other pleasant part of this transformation is how plain old MEAN I get. I'm pretty sure I'm called "Grinch" behind my back by my employees, family, and friends. I so desperately want to relish in the holiday spirit, but I'm so sick, so stressed out and so unlike myself that I can't possibly be anything but AWFUL. Ugghh.

So, I LOVE vacation. Because I know that those few days off from the regular world will bring me back to sanity. I magically get well, I wake up to the horror that is me, and get to evaluate what went wrong that let me to the monster. So...you ask, did I actually learn anything this time? And I will tell you that YES, this time, I think I actually figured it out. I think I might be able to change something about this vicious cycle once and for all. And good lord...maybe I'll actually ward off the monster next year!

Here's what I learned on vacation:

1. I don't actually NEED to get stressed out. Because truly, everything always works out. The things I'm worrying about have a way of working themselves out, regardless.

2. I get sick because I'm not taking care of myself. I'm consumed with things I'm not normally consumed with. The balance that I have most of the year shifts dramatically, and it's no wonder that my health is the first to suffer.

3. While we're on the subject of "balance" (yeah, it's one of my favorite subjects), I realized over vacation that there was a bit of a missing link to achieving that balance for me. Simply put...I was really missing my long runs in the mountains. This year, I was experimenting with a new training concept and adapting to the regimen of crossfit endurance and the idea that I could train for an endurance event without spending countless hours running. Instead, I was spending more and more time with metabolic conditioning and anaerobic, interval training in less than half the time I'd typically spend on the trails. Now, don't get me wrong...I LOVE crossfit and what it's taught me. I will always find a way to incorporate it in my training because I feel it's imperative. But, my long, long hours on the trails is also imperative...to my mental health. It's my think time, it's when I work out most of the stuff in my head, or the problems I may face. Without it, I'm "off". That explains a lot, at least, this year.

4. I am an adrenaline junkie. Simply put, I NEED something adventurous and risky in my life at ALL times. During my monster phase, I fall prey to the mundane routine of work, work, work and all work. During the rest of the year, I've always got some adventure in my plans, so my focus is balanced (there's that word again) between work and play. So, I decided to reinstate the adrenaline and adventure back into my world with a trip to Historic Banning Mills, site of half-mile long Screaming Eagle Zip Line crossing over Snake Creek Gorge in Whitesburg, GA. Nestled in the beautiful mountains and trees near Atlanta, GA, Historic Banning Mills boasts many other adventures: Team Building courses, GPS Treks, and Kayaking. But their claim to fame is hosting one of the longest,highest, and fastest zip line canopy tours in the world! I was instantly sold. My tour involved climbing up wobbly, narrow wooden bridges up into the trees over 300 feet above ground, standing on a tiny wooden platform built around the tree, hooking myself to a line from there and zip lining from tree to tree or tree to bridge and so forth. I can't even begin to explain how awesome of a rush this was. The video doesn't even do it justice. All I can say is, about halfway into the tour, I asked the guide, this twenty-something, outdoorsy, laid back, super-cool guy with a winter beard who actually builds the zip lines, how I could get trained to lead zip line tours and do it full time! And a couple zips later (I still haven't mastered all the "lingo" yet) I was considering throwing a few "tricks" while mid flight (which, by the way, I wasn't allowed to do) Still.... AWESOME! And after only four hours of this much-needed adrenaline rush, I realized...I'm BACK!!!!!